i understand.

i understand that...

i am supposed to be everything to everyone in my family.
my 3 and 1 yo depend on me for everything.
since i stay home, i am supposed to keep the house spotless.
i have to do all the financial work and figuring of things.
i worry so much over money and watch it like a hawk.
that everyone's needs come before mine.


I don't understand why....
my business ventures do not count.
there is little help from hubby and/or family.
i have to give up who i am to please everyone else.
why when i IM you at work, you can't spend 5 minutes talking to me when I am upset...
or let me know when you walk away from the computer so that i just don't think that you are ignoring me.

oh and how is this for a wcp....

i fixed my keyboard and now the space bar isn't jammed and is quiet again....i bet hubby loves me now more than ever!! :)

tried something new today

hubby gently woke me up this morning to go work out at 6:30 am!! and he so gently woke me up, and that was so nice of him. i immediately said, no i will do it later, but then remembered that i asked him to help me.

god love him, he said, whatever you want - and rolled over and went back to sleep until i got up and tried to get ready.

and you know what? i actually LIKED getting up at 6:30 and getting my ass out of the house BY MYSELF to wake myself up gently by watching news whilst i ran a mile. yes, me ran a mile. for as large as i am, i can still do it. i just need to shed this crappy weight off my belly.

so i will start going in the morning, as that will be my new routine. but we will start adding exercise equipment to the regimen as it was only me and the blue hair squad working out today- apparently people have to go to work and shower by 7 am - shower!?!? how lucky are they! LOL.

we are headed to kansas to go buy something...

well, not kansas, but 1/2 way to kansas!

anyway, apparently hubby needs to spend money (against my better judgment b/c i have only been spending money just b/c we NEED things not to buy TOYS)

anyway, we are headed out to buy a motorized bike, like the one he had when he was a kid. we took the motor we had to a shop and the IDIOT didn't fix it and charged us UP THE ASS for it. I should post his shop name so that people don't get taken advantage of.

Anyway apparently this one is pretty reasonable and it was found on craigs list - wish us luck. :) i will post pics this afternoon.

I hate going to wally world....

Man, walmart is just about the worst place to ever be on an afternoon with cranky kids.

We really needed food, well, not really, but it is nice to have the next 5 days of dinner meals planned out so that I don't even have to think at this point! :)

Other than that, the kids have been decently behaved and I have a TON of work to do so off I go - :)

The appraiser came and went.

well that was fun. basically he said a few things that I didn't know and that have changed since the last time that we looked into refinancing.

So lenders make the appriaser take comps from the last three months - well that's just peachy. No one has sold in the past three months, not even a foreclosure - um, it isn't b/c we are all stuck here, it's b/c we LOVE LIVING ON A LAKE!!! We have a condo on a lake, and it is super nice. In our area, you cannot find a place like this with the views that we have. But alas, the few ruin it for the many.

So hubby and i are taking bets as to how high (or low) our appraisal comes in at. None-the-less, even if our appraisal comes in high, we still might be okay with our payment not going up, so that rocks our socks to be able to get off of our stupid adjustable arm (thank you mortgage company for taking advantage of us and not educating us and realtor that we used, thank you for not guiding us the way that you should have) and to us, well, this was a VERY expensive lesson, one that our children will not have to learn on their own.

same crap, different day ;)

excpet for there is MUCH less of it!! :)

I got rid of two bins of trash, and then two trash bags, and one laundry thingy :) I am so excited. I didn't know that decluttifying your life could feel so good.

We have been on a MASSIVE de-cluttering effort for about 2 months now. Yes, we are slow movers, but it is coming along. I might even post pics when we are done b/c yes folks, we are THAT close to being done!!

I have to keep reminding myself of the accomplishments so that I don't get down -

Let's see items we have accomplished
kitchen cabinets
linnen closet
other linnen closet
Under kid's sink
Under my sink
laundry - this was the LARGEST one :)
our floor - under couches, all over the house the floor is clean :)
my dresser

I need to do my closet, and then the outer part of the house, but yesterday i also got through 3 bins of pure and utter crap and threw away most of the papers (or shredded them)

Ahhhh......my spirits are lifting as i type! We will no longer be a prisoner of our own home!