my ILs will be here tomorrow
i scheduled a meeting 45 min away for tomorrow evening last week b/c they said they would be here on thursday.
i am seriously contemplating NOT going to my meeting tomorrow, but then that could be money we missed out on. UGH - crap. i really want to go, hmmm....maybe i will just leave my desk area crappy messy and get the kids's room done and ready to go and the laundry done (staying up late to do that tonight) and i could possibly do everything......but do you ever get tired of doing everything?!?! i mean, i am seriously tired of trying to do everything. :(
this week cannot pass quick enough.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Saturday, October 6, 2007
one more thought....
so today i had my alumni game from college - LOVED it. it was so nice to see everyone today and, well, it was nice to receive some compliments - playing a college sport with 16 other women, you tend to know EVERYTHING about each other. And all my friends were genuinely surprised that I was into photography and graphic design. Apparently I hid my love for arts very well - lol. Anyway, a few friends said, we went to your site and thought - holy shit she did this?!?! i was so flattered, and it was really nice for a change to hear it from an objective person rather than just my family - kiwm?
so i have also never been one to hide my feelings well. my friend from college is coming into town this week and i am dreading it with every fiber in my being. we were close. really close. but then i found a man, got married and had a child. i also became a sahm (not our choice, i was laid off and decided to not find another job) anyway, she would come out here and judge us. she would stay with us b/c we offered, but those stays quickly turned into "you don't treat your hubby right, you need to be nicer, you need to do this, you need to do that" and the flirting with our husbands (i say our b/c there are others on my team who have hubbys that she flirted with) and then when i had a child, the comments got worse, t hen turned to me getting back into shape.
apparently she has some martha stewart, june cleaver FUCKING WARPED idea of what a SAHM does. I can't help her there, i just can't stand to educate one more person on the benefits of staying at home and why it works for us. i am also not either martha or june, nor does my home look like either of theirs. we know this, we struggle with this and we are working on this. i say we b/c it takes all of us to make a mess. and honestly i shouldn't have to clean up after everyone 24/7. anyway, i offered to have her and her boyfriend stay here with us. we have the kids move to our bdroom, and all would be well. but when i offered, she just say "um, no. we won't be staying with you. i don't know where we will stay, but it won't be with you"
that's it. nothing more or less, but very rude and to the point. which is fine. but it hurt the hell out of my feelings. you know what she could have taken an extra 45 seconds to say "wow, that's really nice of you to offer, but we know how crowded you are in the first place, and we will make our own arrangements"
so since then, i really haven't talked to her. she had her bday and i had mine. i sent her a gift b/c it was her 30th bday and one of her AZ friends did a surprise bday party for her and i just really couldn't make it. so then she felt obligated to send me one, and i got it and called her immediately and that was 2 months ago. haven't heard from her at all.
i am heartbroken, but on the same token, i am not. i don't have time for this shit-i have so much going on in my own world that i just cannot devote another minute to figuring out her head. nordo i want to especially after that last comment. i just am so hurt- and i possibly did something else that hurt her, but shit that just sucks.
and she is coming, this thursday - apparently as someone from the team told me today - and i didn't even know she was coming that day for some reason. thank god my ILs will be in town. i have a fund raiser this friday night, and then we are escaping to the mountains with the ILs to get out of town and that way i won't be here to talk to her.
so i have also never been one to hide my feelings well. my friend from college is coming into town this week and i am dreading it with every fiber in my being. we were close. really close. but then i found a man, got married and had a child. i also became a sahm (not our choice, i was laid off and decided to not find another job) anyway, she would come out here and judge us. she would stay with us b/c we offered, but those stays quickly turned into "you don't treat your hubby right, you need to be nicer, you need to do this, you need to do that" and the flirting with our husbands (i say our b/c there are others on my team who have hubbys that she flirted with) and then when i had a child, the comments got worse, t hen turned to me getting back into shape.
apparently she has some martha stewart, june cleaver FUCKING WARPED idea of what a SAHM does. I can't help her there, i just can't stand to educate one more person on the benefits of staying at home and why it works for us. i am also not either martha or june, nor does my home look like either of theirs. we know this, we struggle with this and we are working on this. i say we b/c it takes all of us to make a mess. and honestly i shouldn't have to clean up after everyone 24/7. anyway, i offered to have her and her boyfriend stay here with us. we have the kids move to our bdroom, and all would be well. but when i offered, she just say "um, no. we won't be staying with you. i don't know where we will stay, but it won't be with you"
that's it. nothing more or less, but very rude and to the point. which is fine. but it hurt the hell out of my feelings. you know what she could have taken an extra 45 seconds to say "wow, that's really nice of you to offer, but we know how crowded you are in the first place, and we will make our own arrangements"
so since then, i really haven't talked to her. she had her bday and i had mine. i sent her a gift b/c it was her 30th bday and one of her AZ friends did a surprise bday party for her and i just really couldn't make it. so then she felt obligated to send me one, and i got it and called her immediately and that was 2 months ago. haven't heard from her at all.
i am heartbroken, but on the same token, i am not. i don't have time for this shit-i have so much going on in my own world that i just cannot devote another minute to figuring out her head. nordo i want to especially after that last comment. i just am so hurt- and i possibly did something else that hurt her, but shit that just sucks.
and she is coming, this thursday - apparently as someone from the team told me today - and i didn't even know she was coming that day for some reason. thank god my ILs will be in town. i have a fund raiser this friday night, and then we are escaping to the mountains with the ILs to get out of town and that way i won't be here to talk to her.
our never ending quest
we went looking at new homes again today. you know what? we both liked the same home - i was shocked. purely shocked. and it is a new build, which would rock too.
the only problem is going to be our home. and trying to sell it and to be able to pay out our house before purchasing the new one.
we are both totally motivated right now. not only b/c our house is coming along nicely b/c the ILs are a comin, but b/c this just "feels right". I know that sounds odd, but if you know our whole story things have just come together for us in our world, like it was scripted or something. and this is truly one of those moments for both of us.
anyway, the kids are off with the grandparents this weekend, and we have had a glorious time right now. do i miss them? of course. but it has been a nice time trying to reconnect as a married couple :)
the only problem is going to be our home. and trying to sell it and to be able to pay out our house before purchasing the new one.
we are both totally motivated right now. not only b/c our house is coming along nicely b/c the ILs are a comin, but b/c this just "feels right". I know that sounds odd, but if you know our whole story things have just come together for us in our world, like it was scripted or something. and this is truly one of those moments for both of us.
anyway, the kids are off with the grandparents this weekend, and we have had a glorious time right now. do i miss them? of course. but it has been a nice time trying to reconnect as a married couple :)
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
apparently i am stressed out.
ya. you heard it right. i sat down tonight and started thinking why i am feeling anxiety - here's what i came up with
- my ILs are coming, but i have no clue when
- our house needs to be scoured for their arrival
- they were going to bring dogs, but now aren't
- still don't know when they are coming....or leaving for that matter!
- kids are headed with my parents this weekend - this will be the first weekend trip away from us, and oddly, i am looking forward to it
- i have an alumni softball game on saturday
- next friday a fundraiser dinner which i have to get all gussied up for
- next saturday fun filled day of playing photographer :)
- the following week a birthday party and wedding in the same day
Heres some PMDD symptoms which was me...
Emotional symptoms:
| Physical symptoms:
|
sometimes all it takes is a cocktail to wind down.
wow, i am so glad hubby came home. I really needed a cocktail tonight. after being late for everything today (like 10+ minutes late) to school, gymboree, back to school to pick up child, it was just too much for me to then also have a speeding ticked slapped on me.
i am so tired tonight. i am so stressed out with the uncertainty of when the ILs will get here. I am just thankful hubby is giving the natives a bath right now. I really needed 20 minutes to myself.
i am so tired tonight. i am so stressed out with the uncertainty of when the ILs will get here. I am just thankful hubby is giving the natives a bath right now. I really needed 20 minutes to myself.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Send me some love!!!
Lookie - I have no comments anywhere! lol. yup, no comments. sometimes when there are no comments it makes me think that no one is reading. if you are reading, send me some love!! :)
I talked to my cousin last night, she is getting married. She has a lot of friends in our state that are getting married - she isn't located here, she is in California, but they can't decide between here or there, so they are going to get married in Florida!! LOL - Florida! wow. I don't blame her though, they are having a hard time with all family and friends, I just reassured her that your wedding is really for you, so make sure you enjoy it!
Anyway, I am going to SF in November, and at that time I will get to take her engagement photos- you have NO idea how freakin excited I am. NO IDEA. And she wants me there to take the photos for the wedding. I am so excited - my first wedding where I am the official photographer :) not that i wasn't before, but there are distinct differences between being the main and the 2nd. Her wedding will be small (most likely under 40 people), so no need for a 2nd, but i am truly excited for her (and secretly excited for me :)
That being said, I am sitting here looking at a mound of CRAP on my desk that MUST get attention today. That is my goal for today. I should post pics of my desk before and after...hmmm...i will go get a photo and then hopefully report on the progress later.
I talked to my cousin last night, she is getting married. She has a lot of friends in our state that are getting married - she isn't located here, she is in California, but they can't decide between here or there, so they are going to get married in Florida!! LOL - Florida! wow. I don't blame her though, they are having a hard time with all family and friends, I just reassured her that your wedding is really for you, so make sure you enjoy it!
Anyway, I am going to SF in November, and at that time I will get to take her engagement photos- you have NO idea how freakin excited I am. NO IDEA. And she wants me there to take the photos for the wedding. I am so excited - my first wedding where I am the official photographer :) not that i wasn't before, but there are distinct differences between being the main and the 2nd. Her wedding will be small (most likely under 40 people), so no need for a 2nd, but i am truly excited for her (and secretly excited for me :)
That being said, I am sitting here looking at a mound of CRAP on my desk that MUST get attention today. That is my goal for today. I should post pics of my desk before and after...hmmm...i will go get a photo and then hopefully report on the progress later.
Monday, September 24, 2007
why i now am a proponent of carrying 4 beach towels in my car.
i am sure glad they make leather seats. so this week, no last week, on wednesday we were driving to costco - my sis, e and v, and myself of course. we got almost there, and then we saw something out of a movie- v was puking his guts out - like projectile vomiting in the car. i was amazed. we stopped, i pulled over. my sister went to e's side, she couldn't bare the smell or look of v. meanwhile i was digging out chunks of unprocessed broccoli and chicken and his lunch, pancakes. nice. just what i wanted to be doing. in my moment of sheer meltdown, i glanced in the back of the car and saw a bright pink towel - i ran to the back, only to see 3 more towels!! HOOOOORAYYY!!! I WAS SAVED.
so i threw one on my poor guy, and then drove home. wrapped him up in multiple towels, took him to the bathtub stripped and bathed (well, my sis did :) ) then e and i went outside and hosed off his carseat and the leather with baby wipes - WOW leather sure does clean well :) i was so excited!!
anyway, he puked all night. e puked all friday night and then he puked again last night. thank god i only felt queasy on sunday. or i would have been horrible to deal with. my babies are better - except v is trying to push through 4 eye teeth at once (which might explain his puking too)
so i threw one on my poor guy, and then drove home. wrapped him up in multiple towels, took him to the bathtub stripped and bathed (well, my sis did :) ) then e and i went outside and hosed off his carseat and the leather with baby wipes - WOW leather sure does clean well :) i was so excited!!
anyway, he puked all night. e puked all friday night and then he puked again last night. thank god i only felt queasy on sunday. or i would have been horrible to deal with. my babies are better - except v is trying to push through 4 eye teeth at once (which might explain his puking too)
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