the longer i am a mom, the more laid back i become.

i mean, i would have NEVER let my lil girl sit on the side of the tub with me, 1/2 naked and soaking her feet just b/c she wanted to and when she accidentally got her undies wet b/c she jumped in, i just said, eh, go change them.

i mean, who is this woman?!?! ;) really, stepping back and saying, well, she has 30 more pairs to go put on, and it really isn't a huge deal. it totally made her happy to help me wash my shoulders - i mean she thought that rocked. and you know what? we needed some time to ourselves, just the girlies. she starts school next week. she is growing up. i won't have this awesome time with her for much longer, and as of next week, she will be forced to grow up.

i am not ready for this.

ever get those DUH moments?

so today i had an overwhelming feeling that i NEEDED to check our checking account. I was driving to lunch, not paying b/c my mommy is nice :) but felt like i needed to check it immediately.

well, life happened, i cooked, i ate, got sick, and then had to go to my class at the juco, and then got home and finally, i am sitting here at midnight and was able to check my account.

we were minus $45.00!! why? b/c idiot me forgot to transfer $300 for the appraisal on our home. now, under normal circumstances this wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't making our FIRST payment on our car and thank god we have overdraft protection and it covered our payment. good god. some days i really wonder how i keep track of my own brain.

i went to class tonight, and the professor asked me if i would be willing to teach the business side of running a photography business - ie: taxes, a marketing plan, logo, design, customer relations, etc.

he said he HATES that part of the business, and he admits that he isn't so good at it and was wondering if i would come up with a book and class outline and then he would get me connected with who i needed to be to teach the class.

so i got to thinking....there is usually 4-6 people per class. those 4-6 people pay $125 for a class, plus usually a $35.00 materials fee. I am guessing i would make about 50 per student, which wouldn't turn out to be so bad for 1 night per week for three weeks at a time. max 3 times per year. I am kind of excited about this and will probably be dreaming of this in the next few days :)

me, a teacher. one who HATED school. LOL.

*sniff* *cough* *sniff*

CRAP.

i think i am getting a cold - or it is horrible allergies!! i hate being sick during the summer.

oh, and get this. with all that is going on this week, we missed e's orientation at her new school.

we're great parents this week.

i understand.

i understand that...

i am supposed to be everything to everyone in my family.
my 3 and 1 yo depend on me for everything.
since i stay home, i am supposed to keep the house spotless.
i have to do all the financial work and figuring of things.
i worry so much over money and watch it like a hawk.
that everyone's needs come before mine.


I don't understand why....
my business ventures do not count.
there is little help from hubby and/or family.
i have to give up who i am to please everyone else.
why when i IM you at work, you can't spend 5 minutes talking to me when I am upset...
or let me know when you walk away from the computer so that i just don't think that you are ignoring me.

oh and how is this for a wcp....

i fixed my keyboard and now the space bar isn't jammed and is quiet again....i bet hubby loves me now more than ever!! :)

tried something new today

hubby gently woke me up this morning to go work out at 6:30 am!! and he so gently woke me up, and that was so nice of him. i immediately said, no i will do it later, but then remembered that i asked him to help me.

god love him, he said, whatever you want - and rolled over and went back to sleep until i got up and tried to get ready.

and you know what? i actually LIKED getting up at 6:30 and getting my ass out of the house BY MYSELF to wake myself up gently by watching news whilst i ran a mile. yes, me ran a mile. for as large as i am, i can still do it. i just need to shed this crappy weight off my belly.

so i will start going in the morning, as that will be my new routine. but we will start adding exercise equipment to the regimen as it was only me and the blue hair squad working out today- apparently people have to go to work and shower by 7 am - shower!?!? how lucky are they! LOL.

we are headed to kansas to go buy something...

well, not kansas, but 1/2 way to kansas!

anyway, apparently hubby needs to spend money (against my better judgment b/c i have only been spending money just b/c we NEED things not to buy TOYS)

anyway, we are headed out to buy a motorized bike, like the one he had when he was a kid. we took the motor we had to a shop and the IDIOT didn't fix it and charged us UP THE ASS for it. I should post his shop name so that people don't get taken advantage of.

Anyway apparently this one is pretty reasonable and it was found on craigs list - wish us luck. :) i will post pics this afternoon.