the longer i am a mom, the more laid back i become.

i mean, i would have NEVER let my lil girl sit on the side of the tub with me, 1/2 naked and soaking her feet just b/c she wanted to and when she accidentally got her undies wet b/c she jumped in, i just said, eh, go change them.

i mean, who is this woman?!?! ;) really, stepping back and saying, well, she has 30 more pairs to go put on, and it really isn't a huge deal. it totally made her happy to help me wash my shoulders - i mean she thought that rocked. and you know what? we needed some time to ourselves, just the girlies. she starts school next week. she is growing up. i won't have this awesome time with her for much longer, and as of next week, she will be forced to grow up.

i am not ready for this.

ever get those DUH moments?

so today i had an overwhelming feeling that i NEEDED to check our checking account. I was driving to lunch, not paying b/c my mommy is nice :) but felt like i needed to check it immediately.

well, life happened, i cooked, i ate, got sick, and then had to go to my class at the juco, and then got home and finally, i am sitting here at midnight and was able to check my account.

we were minus $45.00!! why? b/c idiot me forgot to transfer $300 for the appraisal on our home. now, under normal circumstances this wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't making our FIRST payment on our car and thank god we have overdraft protection and it covered our payment. good god. some days i really wonder how i keep track of my own brain.

i went to class tonight, and the professor asked me if i would be willing to teach the business side of running a photography business - ie: taxes, a marketing plan, logo, design, customer relations, etc.

he said he HATES that part of the business, and he admits that he isn't so good at it and was wondering if i would come up with a book and class outline and then he would get me connected with who i needed to be to teach the class.

so i got to thinking....there is usually 4-6 people per class. those 4-6 people pay $125 for a class, plus usually a $35.00 materials fee. I am guessing i would make about 50 per student, which wouldn't turn out to be so bad for 1 night per week for three weeks at a time. max 3 times per year. I am kind of excited about this and will probably be dreaming of this in the next few days :)

me, a teacher. one who HATED school. LOL.

*sniff* *cough* *sniff*

CRAP.

i think i am getting a cold - or it is horrible allergies!! i hate being sick during the summer.

oh, and get this. with all that is going on this week, we missed e's orientation at her new school.

we're great parents this week.

i understand.

i understand that...

i am supposed to be everything to everyone in my family.
my 3 and 1 yo depend on me for everything.
since i stay home, i am supposed to keep the house spotless.
i have to do all the financial work and figuring of things.
i worry so much over money and watch it like a hawk.
that everyone's needs come before mine.


I don't understand why....
my business ventures do not count.
there is little help from hubby and/or family.
i have to give up who i am to please everyone else.
why when i IM you at work, you can't spend 5 minutes talking to me when I am upset...
or let me know when you walk away from the computer so that i just don't think that you are ignoring me.

oh and how is this for a wcp....

i fixed my keyboard and now the space bar isn't jammed and is quiet again....i bet hubby loves me now more than ever!! :)

tried something new today

hubby gently woke me up this morning to go work out at 6:30 am!! and he so gently woke me up, and that was so nice of him. i immediately said, no i will do it later, but then remembered that i asked him to help me.

god love him, he said, whatever you want - and rolled over and went back to sleep until i got up and tried to get ready.

and you know what? i actually LIKED getting up at 6:30 and getting my ass out of the house BY MYSELF to wake myself up gently by watching news whilst i ran a mile. yes, me ran a mile. for as large as i am, i can still do it. i just need to shed this crappy weight off my belly.

so i will start going in the morning, as that will be my new routine. but we will start adding exercise equipment to the regimen as it was only me and the blue hair squad working out today- apparently people have to go to work and shower by 7 am - shower!?!? how lucky are they! LOL.

we are headed to kansas to go buy something...

well, not kansas, but 1/2 way to kansas!

anyway, apparently hubby needs to spend money (against my better judgment b/c i have only been spending money just b/c we NEED things not to buy TOYS)

anyway, we are headed out to buy a motorized bike, like the one he had when he was a kid. we took the motor we had to a shop and the IDIOT didn't fix it and charged us UP THE ASS for it. I should post his shop name so that people don't get taken advantage of.

Anyway apparently this one is pretty reasonable and it was found on craigs list - wish us luck. :) i will post pics this afternoon.

I hate going to wally world....

Man, walmart is just about the worst place to ever be on an afternoon with cranky kids.

We really needed food, well, not really, but it is nice to have the next 5 days of dinner meals planned out so that I don't even have to think at this point! :)

Other than that, the kids have been decently behaved and I have a TON of work to do so off I go - :)

The appraiser came and went.

well that was fun. basically he said a few things that I didn't know and that have changed since the last time that we looked into refinancing.

So lenders make the appriaser take comps from the last three months - well that's just peachy. No one has sold in the past three months, not even a foreclosure - um, it isn't b/c we are all stuck here, it's b/c we LOVE LIVING ON A LAKE!!! We have a condo on a lake, and it is super nice. In our area, you cannot find a place like this with the views that we have. But alas, the few ruin it for the many.

So hubby and i are taking bets as to how high (or low) our appraisal comes in at. None-the-less, even if our appraisal comes in high, we still might be okay with our payment not going up, so that rocks our socks to be able to get off of our stupid adjustable arm (thank you mortgage company for taking advantage of us and not educating us and realtor that we used, thank you for not guiding us the way that you should have) and to us, well, this was a VERY expensive lesson, one that our children will not have to learn on their own.

same crap, different day ;)

excpet for there is MUCH less of it!! :)

I got rid of two bins of trash, and then two trash bags, and one laundry thingy :) I am so excited. I didn't know that decluttifying your life could feel so good.

We have been on a MASSIVE de-cluttering effort for about 2 months now. Yes, we are slow movers, but it is coming along. I might even post pics when we are done b/c yes folks, we are THAT close to being done!!

I have to keep reminding myself of the accomplishments so that I don't get down -

Let's see items we have accomplished
kitchen cabinets
linnen closet
other linnen closet
Under kid's sink
Under my sink
laundry - this was the LARGEST one :)
our floor - under couches, all over the house the floor is clean :)
my dresser

I need to do my closet, and then the outer part of the house, but yesterday i also got through 3 bins of pure and utter crap and threw away most of the papers (or shredded them)

Ahhhh......my spirits are lifting as i type! We will no longer be a prisoner of our own home!

Wading through the crap.

We have an unusual amount of crap. I finally feel much better - it is true what they say - clean your closets and under your sinks, out and you will feel MUCH better.

I cleaned the following today:
under the kids sink, moved all our towels there and took out everything else. All nice and neat! :)

closet - put away all linens in the closet.

got through 2 big bins of crap. I have a bin for trash, shredder, and everything else I have been putting away upon touching it. NO MORE CRAP. That's our new motto.

I still have a ton more to do, and yet i find myself blogging b/c a huge mount of crap makes me tick and overwhelms me, so taking periodic breaks helps break up the mini-panic attacks that I keep getting b/c of all the crap here.

Here's to a productive day!

People who live in glass houses shouldn't cast stones.

I have to admit, I actually like blogging. I have like 3 blogs, all for different reasons. But I actually started this blog in response to another just because, well, passive-aggressiveness was happening on that blog towards me and my board, so I retaliated.

Childish? yes. absolutely. But seriously there is no other way to deal with passive-aggressive people. I mean, they say that they want you to come to them if you have a problem with them, but what they really mean is that you can come to them, but they don't listen. Period. I have tried. I extended an olive branch twice, and have been basically told to go jump in a lake (in so many words) But this type of typical behavior reigns true for ANY passive aggressive person. They always find a way to blame everyone else for their issues, when in reality if so many people have issues with them, maybe it's them that needs to take a look at themselves.

Yes, this blog is public. Yes people can read it. But no, my board where people talk in private isn't. And when people tell you 1/8 of what is going on, and sometimes it isn't true and sometimes it is, you cannot make ASSumptions as to what is going on. I read through the entire thread, and not once was their mention of kissing a drama filled ass.

Apparently I blog lies. I have never laughed so hard. No, I don't blog lies, I quote what others WRITE and if what other people write is lies, then well...........NMP.

Many people have asked me what happened - here is the LONG drawn out story for your pleasure - obviously from my side, but even so i have IMs to back it up. This entire 'riff' started when I was accused of telling another photographer that this person said she sucked and she stole her marketing ideas - the funny thing? Another person told her because this person told them personally, NOT ME. I kept my mouth shut, and my promise NOT to tell her.

Then this other person found out that I entered into a business relationship with the person she hated, she then severed ties between me and the board. In the process, she kept me close to her just long enough for her to create a board for herself and two other board members (whom btw were also moderators on my board, which isn't cool IMHO). Then they secretly private messaged everyone that they felt needed to "leave my board and come to theirs" all my members told me what was going on, and that's when I got pissed. Not that they made a new board, there are MANY spin off boards from mine, and I even belong to some of them. But the fact that they did this all in secret, bashed me and my board (and yes, if you bash my board you bash me for the amount of time i put into this) AND they blocked my IP from their board, which clearly sent a message.

Bottom line, people have feelings. Even if you don't think they know things they do. And they have other people watching out for them because of the way that they have been treated in the past.

Cleaver title - if you are a whiner and know it......blog. Hmmm......how bout this one - People who live in glass houses shouldn't cast stones.

We had the BEST weekend ever!

So saturday we went ice skating. Wow, what an experience. I totally was only able to contain myself on the ice, so hubby and god father took the other two kiddos. E really go the hang of it after one lap, and poor god father had to take her around two more times - his poor back!!

Then we got out of the rink, and it was BLAZING hot. I seriously felt like I was going to melt. So we decided to head to my parents house and go swimming! Then we headed back to the house for a nice evening BBQ.

On sunday, i had my boutique and then my grandpa's birthday party - he is 86!!! And then we came home, and snuggled. Well, shower time first as my grandparent's DO NOT have air conditioning, and we all melted there. Then we got our jammies on - well most of us did LOL - e fell asleep on the couch in her towel!! Apparently running around with your cousins in the backyard all afternoon makes you VERY sleepy!! YEAH for cousins!

Hub and I actually got some quiet time and got to hang out with each other this weekend - it was quite nice.

TGIF!!

I had a client cancel our session yesterday, so we are going today - and I just realized it's almost noon, and my kids (whom have been on an eating strike) haven't eaten yet today. They have had plenty of milk, just no real food. Thank goodness for ego waffles, that's all V has been eating for a week as he is teething and rejecting EVERYTHING else, well, except for chips. Apparently those are his FAVORITES!!

We are super busy this weekend! We are going to go do something fun as a family either tonight or tomorrow afternoon, I vote for tomorrow afternoon so that we can take the kids bowling!! :) But we are going to go ice skating tomorrow morning with E's godfather, who plays in the JR league in canada, so that will be fun. He is leaving next week to return to Vancouver island to play for a team.

Sunday I have a boutique and then my grandpa's birthday party - should be loads of fun! :)

Anyway, just a bunch of babble -

WOW The balls and meanness of some people

Dear Crazy Lady who is stalking my mom's board and then writing about it on your blog,

I tried extending an olive branch the other day only to have it slapped back in my face:

I made the mistake of going to the “evil” board this week and stumble across a confessions thread. It quite literally made me feel sick to my stomach. Either I am a mutant or these women need a reality check. Not that I should judge, I guess I am not really but I can’t help but wonder why it’s so hard to drink a bottle of water to help your body make good milk for the baby you worked so hard to bring into this world.

I want the best for my children, from breastmilk to schooling to parents. I want the best and if that means I can’t suck down a liter of Dr. Pepper then it means I can’t. My kids are more important the rotting my teeth anyway.

And sleeping, seriously, did you expect the baby to come with an off switch? You have to get up with them, period. If you are lucky enough to have a husband/boyfriend/girlfriend to help, wonderful but if they are the primary income in your life, they need to the sleep because you need the paycheck, that’s all there is to it. I can talk my three into a nap, Buns cannot. However, nap time on the weekends for him is out…. I draw the line there.

I know that you might think that you are a all knowing now that you have three children, but if you don't learn one thing from life, learn this. You live in a bubble - your internet and home world. You need to get a life outside your bubble to know that there are THOUSANDS maybe even millions of different parenting styles. Not every one of them is right for everyone, which is why it is awesome to live in our society and to be able to choose what we do with our children. Whether or not we want to co-sleep, cloth diaper, feed on demand or schedule, it is UP TO THE PARENT.

HOW DARE YOU criticize someone else for their parenting choices? WHO ARE YOU TO DO THIS and what are your qualifications to rank you superior to everyone else to judge them on that?

Stay away from the board. You are not welcome there anyway. I don't stalk your board nor do I care that you have one. Nor do I care that you have talked about us many times. GET YOUR OWN LIFE AND STAY OUT OF EVERYONE ELSE'S.

Oh, and by the way maybe this should have been the top part of your blog post (I have highlighted the ones that apply):

mean2 /min/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[meen] adjective, -er, -est.

1.	offensive, selfish, or unaccommodating; nasty; malicious: a mean remark; He gets mean when he doesn't get his way.

2.	small-minded or ignoble: mean motives.

3.	penurious, stingy, or miserly: a person who is mean about money.

4.	inferior in grade, quality, or character: no mean reward.

5.	low in status, rank, or dignity: mean servitors.

6.	of little importance or consequence: mean little details.

7.	unimposing or shabby: a mean abode.

8.	small, humiliated, or ashamed: You should feel mean for being so stingy.

9.	Informal. in poor physical condition.

10.	troublesome or vicious; bad-tempered: a mean old horse.

11.	Slang. skillful or impressive: He blows a mean trumpet.

posting is hard these days.

I have so much on my mind, I have NO clue where to start!!

I have little time due to children running a muck and my two businesses. I am a bit slow right now, along with the kiddos sleeping, so that's why you see a large post from me :)

I am sad. A child passed away from cancer. I normally try not to get too attached to blogs with childhood cancer, as they only end up breaking my heart, but this one was special. I know so many people who knew him and his family, I couldn't help but stare at the blog. every. single. day. until he passed.

I knew that he was getting close, having watched over 10 deaths from cancer and related diseases in my family, I knew he only had a few days left when the drs told the family instead of weeks to months, he had days to weeks. when doctors change that, there is just nothing you can do.

His parents are the most loving people I have met on the net, and i feel for them and their other children as today they attended a memorial service that is still most likely going on at this point.

OASN, we had a GREAT day, woke up early and went to the free fountains :) and we just had a blast. E ran through the water like she owned it, I was so proud of her. V, omg, he is my problem child. He walked away from me. Like, started to go back to the car walked away from me. Man, i have to keep my eyes on that one - he is going to make me go gray early!!

Oh, and I got a new hair cut!! When I was going through chemo, I had really short hair growing it back out, and i did it, I chopped it. I feel so liberated. My hair was just consuming my face and head, and really, I NEVER wear it down anyway.

Well, that's all for now. I have to go work on getting the kids's medical records transfered to another physician. Yea, nice thing to work on on a Friday afternoon eh?