oh no you di'nt

I have to tell you guys about my lunch date.

we went to lunch with a former co-worker. Now, she is pregnant, but not pregnant, she is a control freak whom can mostly hide it. Pregnant, she is a hormonally raging woman, whom is also of french origin, and holy shit she just about made me jump out of my seat.

to start this off, i feel really bad for my e. she was so sweet and so kind and i have learned my lesson, no more lunches with this woman.

the last time we went to lunch, she complimented me on how well behaved my children are and then proceeded to discipline e at the table, this from a woman who doesn't have any children AND well, she is not family therefore she cannot discipline my children.

so today at the table, e got in first, and then v and then me, so em was sitting by her at the half round table. e loved her and sat very close to her, which wigged her out (uh, get used to it, you are 5 months preggo) and then proceeded to tell e every. single. fucking. thing. that she did wrong, from coloring wrong, to using napkins wrong, to putting napkins down wrong, to accidentally kicking her, etc. it was a night mare, only b/c i could see the sadness in e's eyes.

by the time the food came, pancakes their FAVORITE, she cut them up for her, and then poured MAYBE a tsp of syrup for her. e asked for more please, and she said you have enough - HELLO NUTCASE - I AM HER MOTHER, AND YES I WILL DECIDE WHEN SHE HAS HAD ENOUGH.

so, minutes go by, e just eats her applesauce and then she sits back and almost looks like she is going to cry. i said, e do you want more syrup? and she said no, and i said, wow then i will have to use your syrup b/c you have a ton left! and then she smiled and said yes please, and i poured the entire heap on it - to passively prove a point.

you know, we do not go out often - or a better description of us going out is NEVER. we don't have the money - we go to lunch once in awhile with my mom, but going out - to a niceer restaurant than an italian deli, is rare. so my children can have whatever they want. period. (well, okay within reason, but a 4 tbsp syrup container is not out of reason)

anyway, it was horrible. by the end it was horrible. e kept kicking her (accidentally of course) but every time she kicked her, she would say - you are kicking me, you need to apologize now - hello lady - she is THREE. not THIRTY FIVE LIKE YOU.

i was so fuming by this point, i said, e to make sure that you are not invading her space please move towards me, and e did and she said, oh you don't' have to move, and i said yes she does b/c she is obviously bothering you.

you know, 3yo's sometimes point to things that they don't know what it is - that is how they learn what something is - and e pointed to a piece of food, b/c she didn't know what it was, but wanted to try it - and she immediately pulled her hand down AND DISCIPLINED her for pointing.

we got out of the booth, and she took v for a walk to the car, and i picked e up and gave her a huge hug and kiss and told her that it doesn't matter what a stranger tells her she is doing wrong, just as long as mommy and daddy love what she is doing she is doing just fine - and daddy and i are the only ones that she needs to listen to - and if she is uncomfortable in a situation, all she has to do is ask me to sit by me. she smiled at me and i was seriously about ready to cry. i hugged her and carried her to the car, i felt so bad - and for those of you who know me, I do not carry her (or v very much for that matter) anywhere.

WTF gives people the right to do things like this? i mean, i was FLOORED FLOORED. i couldn't deal anymore - i just told hubby that i will just have to be busy for the next 10 years if she calls for lunch again. or if she is lucky enough to have me answer the phone again in my lifetime.

at least my kids won't be with me.